So, my wife and I had a conversation this morning regarding bullying. Apparently, one of the girls in my daughter's class pushed her the other day and then said something along the lines of "I did it on purpose." My daughter has also told us this girl made fun of her for wearing colored underwear on a gym day a few weeks back. My wife and I have termed this girl and her friends as the "mean girls," and are having a debate over how are daughter should handle the situation.
According to my daughter there are a couple times when she's said something like, "you shouldn't have done that," when one of these girls made her friend move at the lunch table or something. My daughter is not exactly a wilting violet.
But, after this girl pushed her, she didn't do anything. I said she should have shoved her back even harder. (Note: my daughter is pretty sturdy; she has an older brother that likes to use her for wrestling practice. I'v'e seen her fight back and know she packs a wallop.) My wife said she should have told the teacher and is thinking that maybe she should go in herself and tell the teacher.
This brought about conversations about the value of kids learning to deal with their own problems, and the value of a little violence against a bully. I think we agree that parent interference should be kept to a miminum. Of course, some of my wife's more overbearing friends (and just to cover myself, I use "overbearing" as a term of endearment) don't feel that way. In regards to fighting back with a little violence, my wife seems to think this will reflect negatively on my daughter. I, of course, having just finished reading a 450-page biography of John Adams, am certainly in favor of a little bit of justified violence. That's how revolutions happen, baby!
Any opinions or advice on this topic are appreciated.