Thursday, September 14, 2006

Oscar Gamble & In the Name of the Rose

I scribbled this little ditty down as a printed poem, but couldn't figure out how to scan and post at a high enough resolution so here's the typed translation. Hope you enjoy:

Two themes here
Oscar Gamble - sweet swingin' lefty.
Played for the Indians and the Yankees
And other teams I think.
About 5'11", 170-if that
But a big power hitter.
Bat Speed man
And a great big Afro
Big Afro
All-time hair team

In the Name of the Rose
Have you read it?
They made a movie
with Sean Connery
But have you read it
Solid Long complex rewarding
the monks in this book get up at like 2 a.m.
Go to bed at 7 p.m.
Why do they do that?
My wife says it's because it's peaceful at that hour.
Because no one else is up.
But these guys live on a mountain
Where no one else is.
They sleep on hay

My son was watching an informercial the other day
It was about bedbugs
Do you have bed bugs?
Do we have bed bugs?
He wants to take his pillowcase into my Dad's
His grandfather's (who is a microbiologist) lab
And check it for bed bugs
My Dad
Who is at dinner
Says no, nobody has bedbugs today unless they're
really really dirty. Unless they don't change their
sheets for a month
Is that true?
Then why was this informerical guy showing this
But he (my Dad) did say back in the old days
when people slept on hay
They had bugs - hay bugs - or bed bugs in hay
which was laying on the bed
Made me think of the monks
Who in the 14th century abbot
Slept on hay
Did they have bugs?


Stan Langerhaus said...

R, add some drawings, and I think you have a sure-fire winner of a children's book.

Ralph said...

I was shooting more for a Kerouacing, Mexico-City Blues feel, but children's books are good too. Especially, I guess if you're a celebrity, which does present a bit of a problem for me... Did Mel Gibson ever right a children's book? Speaking of which, I ran into CZ the other night. He said he was playing phone tag with you...